Recently, I posted a blurb on Facebook about the prayer rock that Harry moved into a new place for me. I thought I would share the backstory of how I got the prayer rock and some of the experiences I have had there over the years. This will be a little more biographical than just gardening. Be forewarned.
I think it must have been in the late 1980’s that Harry bought a new Massey Ferguson tractor that had a big front-end loader on it. This works like a bucket and can be moved up and down to move material. I don’t know why we were riding around in the pasture on the tractor; maybe so he could “play” with the new loader and show me his skills. The far border of our farm property is a stream. It is not a very bold stream and is spring-fed in several places, but in one particular place there was a natural waterfall and many large rocks along the bank. I am pretty sure that some of these large rocks are part of some of the same boulders that we used to make my rock retaining wall and all might have originated from the same geological event at some time in the long past. Anyway, Harry saw a large flat rock and said he thought that if he could get it with the bucket, it would make a nice seat or focal point for my garden area. Even then, he knew the way to my heart was with rocks! So, after much maneuvering and manipulation with the bucket, the large flat rock and several others were transported to the house. We set up the rock seat near the edge of the woods that border our yard and there it sat for many years. It was only recently that it got a new place in the garden.
It didn’t start out as a “prayer rock”, only a nice flat rock that was nice to sit upon and reflect. But it is hard for me to be outside in nature, listening to the birds, smelling the fragrant flowers, looking at the blue sky and the mountains in the distance without my thoughts and my adoration turning to God. And so, over the years, the rock became for me, a place where I could sit and commune with God. But there have been times when instead of communing, I cried out in pain, sadness, bewilderment, and faith.
My mother went going through a battle with cancer, which ultimately took her life and over the approximately three years she was sick, I found many occasions to sit on the rock and pray for her healing, her comfort, and at last, her deliverance. During those long days, I would sit on the rock and ask God to guide me and help me to be a good daughter to her and do everything I could to honor her and help her last days be as happy and free from worry as could be. Mama showed us all how a Christian approaches death with faithfulness and grace. I like to think that that the faith that sustained me through that time came, in part from sitting on the prayer rock and talking it through with God.
Fast forward several years, and I was serving as principal at New Prospect Elementary School. I had been principal there for 8 years, and during that last that year, I had become burdened and convinced in my heart that my effectiveness and leadership were waning. I have an educational administrative theory that the longer a person remains as a principal in the same school, sometimes it becomes harder to make the tough decisions that have to be made. Over time, you become close to the people in the school, you live through many life experiences with them, and you become friends and family. That makes it hard to lead and even harder to have those tough conversations with friends and even harder with family. But as the leader of a school, you have to be able to do this if the organization is to continue to thrive and goals met. So that is where I was in early spring 1999. It may not be true for every administrator but for me, I was becoming increasingly aware that I needed to make a change. However, I did not want to leave District One. I remember sitting on the prayer rock one cold day in early spring when I got home from school and having a very frank conversation with God. “God, you know that I am not feeling good about my leadership at New Prospect. And you also know that I am not applying for jobs, I don’t ever want to leave District One, and I am really at a loss. So, I’m giving it all to you. If you want me to be principal at New Prospect, then you give me some assurance that I am doing the right thing and I am going to give it all and be the best one I can possibly be. But, if you don’t want me to be principal there, then you are going to have to take care of it because I am giving it to you!” It was certainly an audacious way to talk to God, but I think He appreciates our honesty and our frankness with Him. I gave it to Him, and quite honestly, forgot about it.
Over the next few months, I dove deep into planning for the next three to five years of things I wanted the school to accomplish and the direction I wanted us to go. I wanted the school to be a Palmetto’s Finest winner. I went so far as to say we should be a National Blue Ribbon School! I met with teachers and enlisted their help with where I thought the school should go and how we would get there. I felt confident, renewed, and ready to face the next few years at New Prospect. Apparently, God wanted me to stay right there!
Then, something happened that I could never have anticipated and even today it remains one of those singular life events that will always be a bad memory. A disgruntled employee accused me of something that could ultimately cost my position and bring much discredit to the school. Over a period of about 10 days, while we were dealing with the allegations, I spent many an hour sitting on the prayer rock in anguish with God. I couldn’t believe that this was happening. I am basically a very trusting person, and it is hard for me to recognize when people are just bad, evil, and manipulative. I couldn’t believe that an employee would be so vindictive as to accuse me of a crime.I distinctly remember sitting on the prayer rock and crying out to God. “God! I know I said if you didn’t want me to be principal of New Prospect, you would have to take care of it…but I never meant that I wanted to go to jail!” I can laugh about that now, but I wasn’t laughing then.
I was able to weather that particular episode, but that is not the point of sharing this experience. Many times we offer up prayers to God and then try to answer the prayer ourselves. I had forgotten about the prayer and challenge I gave to Him. God does hear our prayers and He answers them in His own time, and often in ways that we could never dream of. If I have learned anything in the experiences I have had in my Christian walk, it is that we can’t fathom how God works so that is why we just have to trust Him. His ways are not our ways and we can’t even imagine how He makes provisions for us. Remember, I said to God while sitting on the prayer rock…”God if you don’t want me to be principal of New Prospect, you take care of it. I’m giving it to you.” Certainly, that was the last thing on my mind as I struggled with the allegations of that former employee.
The middle of May arrived and I was deep into planning for the next year, testing, and end of year activities. Sadly, the mother of one of our teachers passed away quite unexpectedly. The Superintendent and I were going to another city to visit with the family. I remarked that I had read where a longstanding principal in another good Spartanburg County school district had resigned to go to a place I considered less desirable to work. “I could possibly see myself leaving New Prospect to go to District ______maybe, but down there? I don’t think I could do that.” He looked over at me and said, “Well do you see yourself leaving New Prospect to go to Mabry?” Well, suffice it to say that knocked me for a loop and it was one of the rare times I was left speechless. As far as I knew, there wasn’t a vacancy at Mabry. Then I heard a still small voice speaking in my right ear. Really, that is what happened. “Cathy, you gave it to me.” That was all. “Cathy, you gave it to me.” Then and there, I knew that God had heard my prayers, and even though I thought that He had forgotten that bold challenge I had issued to Him, He had not. I knew that the Superintendent didn’t say things like that without meaning it. I knew what he was asking. And there was no stalling for time or asking for time to talk it over with anyone. I knew that God had spoken and that He was in the midst of this conversation. I looked at the Superintendent and replied, “Well, I have always said that I would do whatever God and ________ _______ asked me to do.” His response to me, which we still laugh about it today, was, “ I don’t know about God, but this is__________ talking!” On June 14, 1999, I was named principal at Mabry Junior High School.
Psalm 62:7On God my salvation and my glory rest; The rock of my strength, my refuge is in God.
Psalm 62:2He only is my rock and my salvation, My stronghold; I shall not be greatly shaken.
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